Netflix’s American live-action adaptation of the hit anime Cowboy Bebop was recently released. I reluctantly watched the series in three days, or more accurately skimmed through the series for scenes worth watching in between all the whatever they were doing. I did watch the first three episodes in full and even enjoyed parts of them, but the potential they presented made the fumbling remainder of the series much more disappointing than if they had simply released the awful show everyone was expecting them to. Like hundreds of other nerds that enjoyed the original anime, I’m chomping at the bit to write a pseudo-intellectual essay on exactly why it was disappointing (in summary: it’s full of modern “edginess,” with a ton more profanity and sexual content than its predecessor that adds nothing to the show and has the energy of a teenager trying to be funny), but nobody cares about my disappointment with a live-action cartoon adaptation. Instead, I’m going to talk about something more positive, something I assume everybody cares about (particularly John Cho’s live-action Spike Spiegel): noodles.

We all know and love the big three noodle bowls in America: lo mein, ramen, and pho. If you don’t, it’s probably worth running over to Chinatown and giving them a shot. Packed with sodium, carbs, and often a fair amount of liquid, I would rank all noodles very high on my list of favorite hangover foods. Unfortunately, I’ve had well over three hangovers and have exhausted the big three noodle bowl types several times over. Variety being the spice of life, I found myself repeatedly dipping my toes into the vast world of noodles. Apologies for the unintentional imagery there. I’d like to share my findings with you, and some Philly suggestions on where to get them in case you ever end up in my city with a hangover (pretty likely, from the tourist stories I’ve heard).

DRUNKEN NOODLES

You probably know how good Thai food is, and you’ve probably seen this item on the menu at your favorite Thai spot, perhaps in anglicized Thai as Pad Kee Mow. You ordered the curry or pad thai instead. Who could blame you? Thai curry is a phenomenal dish. But so are drunken noodles. There’s no alcohol in the dish, but there are a ton of delicious spices that will get your sinuses flowing as you bask in the aromatic glory of chili, garlic, and fresh basil. The wide rice noodles, which have a bunch of names in a bunch of languages, soak up a ton of flavor and are a real treat texturally. The dish also has great versatility, having served me well before, during, and after nights of drinking in the past.

Order from Ratchada, 1117 S 11th St, Philadelphia, PA

DANDAN NOODLES

Hailing from the famously spice-laden Sichuan province of China, this dish immediately coats your tongue in chili oil and numbs it with Sichuan pepper, and somehow leaves you wanting more. It’s a real magic trick of a dish, and if you can get it made well it’s a joy to eat. You don’t have to get it with minced pork, but if you do it adds a delightful fatty spicy-sweet element to the whole thing. You may or may not want to drink the fatty chili oil mixture when you reach the bottom of the bowl, but you will more than likely go through at least one glass of water during this dining experience, and lord knows your body needs it after the night you had.

Order from Han Dynasty, multiple Philadelphia locations

SPAETZLE

Wait a minute, we’re in Germany now? Sure, why not. Spaetzle exists somewhere between noodles and dumplings, with a bunch of thick protein-packed eggy lumps covered in whatever delicious sauce you want to give them. There’s specific gadgets associated with Spaetzle-making, which makes it a bit of a project to make at home, but if you can find it out in the world, this is a great way to calm your rightfully-upset stomach after a night out.

Order from Brauhaus Schmitz, 718 South St, Philadelphia, PA

MA LA SOUP

There’s a lot of variations on this one, and it ranges anywhere from pretty good to fantastic, but when it hits it really hits. There’s about a million ingredients in the recipe, including Pixian chili bean paste and fermented black soybeans, and they form a symphony when they’re pulled together correctly. Hailing from spicy ol’ Sichuan just like the Dandan noodles, you have to be careful about how spicy you ask for this stuff to be. They will not mess around. And the broth is way too delicious to leave on the table because your body has caught fire from the inside.

Order from Chu Shang Spicy, 925 Arch St, Philadelphia, PA

KOREAN ARMY STEW

Budae-jjigae. The first thing I think of when I wake up with a headache. This post-Korean-war-era dish utilizes a bunch of salty fatty canned goods that might be sitting around an Army base and blends them together to spectacular effect. The broth brings together the delicious spice and funk of kimchi and gochujang, then vienna sausage, spam, baked beans, and any other number of fatty products fill out the rest of the rich flavor. Did I mention there’s American cheese melted on top? It sounds like a nightmare, I know. But it’s the nightmare your body needs to pull out of the nightmare it’s in. It’s also incredibly tasty. And oh yeah, there’s noodles in it.

Order from Buk Chon, 132 Chestnut St, Philadelphia, PA

These are only the tip of the iceberg in terms of noodle options for your next hangover, but they’re some of my favorite go-tos. If you’ve got a favorite noodle dish that wasn’t listed here, leave it in the comments or whatever people do for engagement these days. I’ve got bounties to hunt down all over the galaxy and need all the suggestions I can get.

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