You’re a Parent of a Toddler. A Federal Judge Just Voided Mask Mandates for Commercial Flights. Now What?

On Wednesday, April 18, 2022, U.S. District Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle of the Middle District of Florida essentially ended mask mandates on commercial flights and public transportation. This made lots of people, even some pilots, very happy! 

Isn’t this great! In one of the few remaining places where people have no say who they’re near, a setting that forces strangers to sit near future friends for hours are a time, that’s where masks are no longer required! Hooray! 

But not everyone is happy. Some parents of toddlers, people under the age of 5 that still can not receive the Covid vaccine (something parents of toddlers thought would have happened over a year ago) are not happy. 

To these people, I have one question. 

Have you considered fuck you?

Wait! Please hear me out.

Fuck. You.

Fuck. You.

What made you think your toddler should be safe? Even beyond the deadly pandemic that wiped away 6,225,396 people over the last two years, the world at large was not built to consider the most vulnerable.

Listen, I understand. I’m also the parent of a toddler too young to receive the Covid vaccine. But long ago, most likely within the first year parents thought a vaccine was coming for toddlers, I embraced my role as a sucker. I am a sucker. Why did I ever think the public at large would ever think about toddlers? What the fuck was wrong with me?

Fuck me. Fuck you too. Why should everyone wear a simple device that’s extremely affordable, or even free, for any amount of time? Who cares that this simple device can literally (I AM USING THIS WORD CORRECTLY!) save lives? Fuck you. 

No one forced you to have a kid (unless you live in certain states). Sure, the pandemic didn’t yet exist when my kid was born, but as a parent, it’s my responsibility to correctly see the future and any decent soothsayer saw this coming. If I wasn’t comfortable with my toddler on a flight during a deadly pandemic surrounded by people without masks, that’s on me. 

Sooner or later your kid will be able to receive the Covid vaccine. Don’t worry! It’ll all be fine! The vaccine for toddlers is definitely coming! 

Recommend If You Like pays all our writers. Some of that comes from our Patreon. If you've enjoyed anything we've done, cool. We have a Patreon. We promise that once we're bought by a billionaire or millionaire looking for a fun new vanity project, we'll stop asking for money. Until then, please consider the Patreon. If you can't afford to become a patron, please sign up to our mailing list. It's free and we're asking here instead of a pop-up.