In my dream world I’m in a bar with all of my friends and potential friends. That dream world may never be possible. But I can make a dream jukebox. So I did. 

This is the 2024 Dream Jukebox. I chose 48 albums that would be on my ideal bar jukebox and 52 musicians, writers, filmmakers, DJs, bartenders, bar owners and others choose theirs. 50 contributors have the even numbered discs and the odds are all mine except where noted. 

The jukebox is a 100 CD jukebox, hence the number before each album. If any bar would like to use this lineup for their jukebox, they’re welcome to it. If any bar would prefer to have a TouchTunes jukebox, scroll down to the bottom to see why that’s a bad idea. 

Here’s the jukebox lineup. We’re starting and concluding with some classics. You want patrons to flip through the entire thing. Playlist is after disc 99.

00 Fleetwood Mac Rumours (1977)

Because we like it. -Red Derby

01 Ramones Mania (1988)

Sure, Fleetwood Mac was a real life soap opera but so were the Ramones. With better songs too! Picking their first compilation because it features their first great song, “Blitzkrieg Bop” and their last great song, “Bonzo Goes to Bitburg”. 

02 Misfits Walk Among Us (1982)

It’s anthemic and that’s what you want with a pint. -Ed Barakauskas, Teen Mortgage 

03 Teen Mortgage Teen Mortgage (2024)

“Tuning In” has been on repeat in my headphones since it was released as a single in 2022. 

04 Ween Quebec (2003)

Other than having some of the best-written songs of the past few decades, most of the record is pretty easy listening on the surface until you start paying attention to the lyrics. It’s also got enough variety in it that you might think it’s a bunch of different bands. But there’s also enough weirdness in there to make some people uncomfortable. No band makes me happier than Ween. -Dan Leu, The Kickback 

05 The Kickback Weddings & Funerals (2017)

The first track, “Will T,” does a good laughing/clapping/drumstick thingy at the top of the song that’ll draw in new listeners. 

06 Doechii Alligator Bites Never Heal (2024)

Album of the year. -Allison Lane

07 Shellac 1000 Hurts (2000)

It’s nice to package albums with parental advisory stickers next to albums that need parental advisory stickers. “Prayer To God” pairs nicely with Doechii. 

08 J Dilla Donuts (2006)

One of my fondest bar-related memories is walking into a dive one afternoon that was only a few minutes into a full playthrough of J Dilla’s Donuts, an album which is arguably not at all suitable to the jukebox format but also absolutely rules. Over the next 40 minutes or so, my fellow patrons and I were treated to 31 sample-driven instrumental hip-hop sketches with an average track length of under 90 seconds, songs full of recurring motifs that reward close listening, flowing into each other with neck-breaking transitions. Donuts’ addictive quality and short track lengths are a guaranteed money maker for any savvy jukebox entrepreneur, ensuring freaks like me will drop quarter after quarter into the machine to sustain the vibe for just a minute or two longer. -Matt Byrne

09 The Avalanches Since I Left You (2000)

Sandwiched between classics. 

10 MF Doom Operation Doomsday (1999)

The greatest re-emergence. -Serengeti 

11 Serengeti Dennehy (2006)

“Dennehy” is the gateway drug to all Serengeti. Get them hooked and they’ll love 2024’s KDVI.

12 Minor Moon The Light Up Waltz (2024)

I am biased because I am in one of the videos for the album playing a wizard. -Al Scorch

13 Al Scorch Circle Round the Signs (2016)

Al Scorch is best enjoyed live. The second-best setting is on a jukebox. 

14 Neil Young After The Goldrush (1970)

Lisa and I agreed that Neil Young’s After The Gold Rush is a perfect record. So much so that it has a therapeutic effect. I had the 8-track before Lisa was born but she caught up. It’s a mofo, that’s all there is to it. -Chuck Cleaver, Wussy 

15 Wussy Attica (2014)

Enjoy it at a bar with windows that’s open at sunset, I feel like you should listen to it while you can see dusk approaching. -Steph Hasz

16 ABBA Gold (1992)

It makes me sing. It makes me dance. Every song is a masterpiece. -Dougie Poole 

17 Dougie Poole The Rainbow Wheel of Death (2023)

Mellow country with a lot of interesting production flourishes that can feel like if Mark Knopfler was a bedroom musician. The lyrics are classic country problems, but through the lens of how humiliating it is to be alive in the 2020s. As a bar soundtrack, they’re just familiar enough to groove to unconsciously, if not dance to a little here and there. But they’ll give you a little tears-in-your-Whiteclaw backdrop if you’re going out solo too. -Joe McAdam

18 The Last River Bottomed Fig Plucker I Fucked Your Mom (2022)

Derek Lind (aka The Last River Bottomed Fig Plucker) has been making a stunningly prolific amount of albums over the last few years under both names and possibly more I don’t know about. Nearly an album a week. His songs have a naked humor and pathos that makes people question what they just heard. His song-craft is wild but somehow immaculate. I Fucked Your Mom isn’t even his best record but it’s the one I put on for people first because it was my starting point with his records. Dedicate I Fucked Your Mom to someone you know at the bar and leave just before closing time. -Daniel Knox

19 Daniel Knox Won’t You Take Me With You (2021)

I’m sure Daniel hates me saying this but he’s my favorite living songwriter. Track 1, “King of the Ball” is the track that tricks them. Track 3, “Fall Apart” is the track that breaks them. Track 4, “Fool in the Heart” makes them a lifelong fan. 

20 John Prine John Prine (1971)

It really has so many of his great songs Spanish Pipedream, Paradise, Sam Stone ect. When I first started listening to him I really took a shine to how he wrote with such poetry and parady. Makes you laugh and cry in the same song. I took a shine to his humble grass roots begining. I was even asked to leave his concert because I was singing along. -Derek Lind, The Last River Bottomed Fig Plucker

21 Curtis Mayfield Curtis (1970)

The album that will be on every jukebox I program. The album that features the song I’ve DJ’d more than any other song. The best solo debut from a frontman. This record is never leaving the jukebox. 

22 TV on the Radio Return to Cookie Mountain (2006)

My dream jukebox already existed for a while, or at least something close. This album was on that jukebox at The Hungry Brain in Chicago and it will always sound like drinking with my friends without having to worry about the morning. It is also the kind of album that sounds just as good on a bar as it does in your headphones or in your living room. -Kelsey Snell

23 The Ronettes Be My Baby: The Very Best of The Ronnettes (2011)

Kelsey and I DJ’d together for years. But she also spun some records solo. One of her best gigs was a girl group night at Delilah’s. There’s no better girl group than The Ronettes. The instrumentals of “Be My Baby” and “Baby, I Love You” were the processional and recessional music at our wedding ceremony, which is not at all problematic. 

24 Black Ark Players Black Ark in Dub (1981)

The album with the most vibes in my life right now is Black Ark In Dub by Black Ark Players, which is really a compilation of Lee “Scratch” Perry dubs and instrumentals from his peak prolific period, 1974-1977. Is it a copout to choose a compilation? Not really when we’re talking about music that frequently was only released on 45s, one song at a time, with a crucial dub aka version on the B-side. So this 1981 record brings together 10 otherwise hard to find masterpieces of mysterious, transporting dub music. The perfect antidote to anything heavy is something heavier, which this music is: deep basslines, vocal fragments, and vibes for days; indeed i literally listen to this album every day. 

It should be noted that my dream bar would also serve sushi; have a magazine rack and it would be a bookstore, and there would also be a dollar bin with vinyl. This bar would either be in Hawaii or Portugal or Mexico City. Tune in, turn out, drop out.-LUXXURY

25 LUXXURY Alright (2022)

The co-host of music’s best podcast (One Song is a must-subscribe. The episodes on songs I don’t care about tend to be the most enjoyable!) also makes some super relaxing, super chill music for a warm summer night. 

26 Toots and the Maytals Funky Kingston (1973)

I find it ideal in a bar setting because it stays generally in one place but allows you to groove in that place. It’s not too familiar to people but the “Louie Louie” in the middle sets up even the biggest potential haters in the bar to lose their shit when “Country Roads” hits them. In Chicago it’s nice to shut the doors and pretend you are warm and this album accomplishes that spectacularly. You can very much drink to it. -James Swanberg

27 James Swanberg Forever Fourteen (2024)

The fine line between early Dylan and early Daniel Johnston, I absolutely love every James Swanberg record. The issue is he’s been releasing them at a Guided By Voices clip. In an ideal world, the jukebox would update the Swanberg selection whenever there’s a new record. Select track one and fall in love with your new favorite Chicagoan. 

28 Julee Cruise Floating into the Night (1989)

A bar is atmosphere, and this record has the quiet power to wash over a room and transform it. Julee’s voice and Angelo’s keys can pull you out of space and time, intertwine beauty and darkness, and imbue your evening with the kind of mysterious potential that makes leaving your house on a cold night worth it. -Baby Bry Bry, Heaven Forbid 

29 Heaven Forbid Three Songs (2022)

This is the sound of modern urban country. 

30 The Dare What’s Wrong With New York? (2024)

Harrison took the dance floor and shook it up like it needed to be. He didn’t care if it was something you should or should not talk about. -Bill Spier, DC9

31 Faces The Best of Faces: Good Boys When They’re Asleep (2005)

Speaking of the dance floor, no song will get someone that shouldn’t be dancing (drunk) dancing than “Stay With Me”. 

32 MJ Lenderman Boat Songs (2022)

The only thing I want in the world is to be at a dive bar that serves a $3 beer with four of my friends while MJ Lenderman’s Boat Songs plays front to back from the jukebox. -Tommy McNamara

33 Willie Nelson The Essential Willie Nelson (Disc 1) (2015)

You know what pairs well with MJ Lenderman’s “Hangover Game”? Willie’s “I Gotta Get Drunk”. I’m going with this comp since that perfect drinking song is sandwiched between “The Party’s Over” and “Yesterday’s Wine”. 

34 Billy Bragg Talking With the Taxman About Poetry (1986)

The record is the perfect pub/tavern piece of listening. This is for all those day drinkers playing hooky from their responsibilities at those watering holes where the bartender gives you a nickname like “Johnny the Hat”. It might as well be a pub soundtrack, with topics of sex, politics, and “the man,” Billy Bragg’s working-class English accent belting out lyrics such as “I’m celebrating my love for you/With a pint of beer and a new tattoo” and “Marriage is when we admit our parents were right” – it makes me want to go drinking right now. -Mike Reed, Mike Reed’s People, Places & Things, The Hungry Brain, Constellation

35 Mike Reed’s People, Places & Things A New Kind of Dance (2015)

There are literally dozens of records Mike Reed drums on that could be here. I’m going with this 2015 release since it may be the easiest entry point. This is the kind of free jazz that should garner your attention. 

36 Patti Smith Horses (1975)

I used to live a block away from the L&L Tavern in Chicago. A dive bar famous for being where ted bundy found a lot of his victims i’m pretty sure. Anyways, they had all Patti Smith’s Horses on their jukebox and I’d always play it. Getting a buzz going in a dive bar while Patti starts singing “GLOOOORIA” is one of my life’s great thrills. -Gabe Liebowitz, Calvero

37 Calvero Complete Calvero (2024)

Clocking in at an hour, I’m counting this not-really-an-album because nothing is preventing a bar owner from burning a CD. Liebowitz is pop music on steroids. Or yacht rock that doesn’t sail. Or glitter dirt. Whatever, I love his voice and I love his production. “When I Was Ur Love” dominated my 2019. 

38 PawPaw Rod A PawPaw Rod EP (2021)

There are weeknight songs, there are weekend songs, and then there is a small set of songs that thread the needle between the two. PawPaw Rod’s “Hit Em Where It Hurts” is one of those songs. Laid back enough for an after work wind down. Enough of a beat to dance to. A Swiss Army knife song perfect for a summer patio, any day of the week. -Dan Bush, Bummer City

39 Les Baxter Que Mango! (1970)

Speaking of laid back with enough of a beat to dance to…

40 John Carroll Kirby Blowout (2023)

Whether you know it or not, John Carroll Kirby is on a lot of bar and restaurant playlists already. He’s played on, composed, or produced albums by Harry Styles, Frank Ocean, Solange, and Tyler, the Creator to name a few, but his own albums deserve a spot in the jukebox too. I’d start with his most recent full-length, Blowout. It’s a funky-as-hell mix of jazz, new age, and exotica. Hit play and have fun. -Billy Helmkamp, The Whistler

41 Hailu Mergia Wede Harer Guzo (2016)

A good place to begin your love of Ethiopian funk and jazz. Pretty much everything Awesome Tapes From Africa is worth your listening time. 

42 Snail Mail Valentine (2021)

When I’m in a bar with a friend, whether I’m drinking a crisp Diet Coke or sharing gossip over a basket of seasoned fries (preferably both), I want an album that both breaks my heart and rips. Snail Mail manages to do so in a single track (the titular “Valentine”), but we’ve got Diet Coke and fries so why not savor them with a full album? -Jenny Cavallero

43 Neko Case Blacklisted (2002)

You want an album that breaks my heart? 

44 Squid Bright Green Field (2021)

There’s a (tiny) part of me that regrets never being able to get hammered to Bright Green Field by Squid. It has a similar mix of anger, swagger, and infectious wit to that of the person I thought I was when I was drunk. -Emerson Dameron

45 Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!! (2008) 

Anger, swagger and infectious wit you say? 

46 Minus the Bear Menos El Oso (2005)

The second studio album from Minus the Bear, to me, is a perfect album full stop and to hear it play in my favorite dive bar would be a truly wonderful evening. To sit and listen to lead singer Jake Snider croon about love, snowball fights, and death over a few cheap beers and shots of whiskey would fill a small hole in my heart. It’s alt-rock, but more specifically it’s math rock and complex time signatures paired with quietly erotic lyrics. Plus, the music is catchy but not too overpowering, so you can still have a conversation while tapping your foot to the unique beats showcased across the 11-track album. “Pachuca Sunrise” would be the crowd-pleaser, and “This Ain’t A Surfing Movie” is the perfect way to play you out of the bar, tipsy, warm, and ready to listen to the album again. -Mary Beth McAndrews

47 The Nervous Kats The Nervous Kats (1962)

Speaking of surfing music, this instrumental record from 1962 may be my most played record of 2024. Another rediscovered gem from Numero Group. 

48 Wilco Summerteeth (1999)

Wilco makes Summerteeth feel like a full day, full life, full relationship. There’s a song for every kind of mood, and some of the songs, especially “A Shot in the Arm”, can speak to sadness or joy, day or night. It works on a lot of levels, with the songs all fitting together, but each one is its own singularity too. And it’s also my favorite kind of album: The one that comes right before the band hits the big time. -Jason Dick 

49 The Staple Singers The Very Best of The Staple Singers (2007)

Mavis Staples is Jeff Tweedy’s greatest collaborator so it makes sense to have a comp of her greatest works next to one of his. Related, Pops Staples’ guitar tone is something every guitarist aspires to. 

50 Nas Illmatic (1994)

The best rapper ever and a true storyteller. I grew up listening to this album. -Dario Martinez

51 Hole Live Through This (1994)

The most lauded album of 1994 belongs next to the biggest survivor of 1994. 

52 …And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead Source Tags & Codes (2002)

The experience of listening to Source Tags & Codes at home with headphones on, or in my car, has long been one of familiarity. I’m locked in for the first few minutes of “It Was There That I Saw You,” and by the time “Baudelaire” comes around, I’ve started thinking about work or dinner. By the time of “Days of Being Wild” (which Conrad Keeley confirmed is a reference to the Wong Kar-Wai film), I am locked in again. I don’t know how people feel about how this album aged since its infamous 10.0 Pitchfork review, but I know I want to listen to it in a dark room with a beer in front of me. -Tony Beasley 

53 D’Angelo Voodoo (2000)

One Pitchfork 10.0 deserves another. 

54 Fontaines D.C. Romance (2024)

“Romance” by Fontaines D.C. is full of contradictions: it’s doomsday yet hopeful, brooding yet bright, experimental yet straightforward. While I love (and sometimes prefer) individually the Irish band’s former raw post-punk songs, their fourth album sonically evolves, and in doing so, the album shines as an entire work — a nod to an epic poem if you will. “Romance” takes you on a journey, dipping into different sub-genres of indie rock to build momentum, while keeping continuity lyrically as they explore the meaning of romance in modern times. The takeaway? Finding love sucks in the current age, but at least it makes for excellent music. -Nicole Schaller 

55 Coleman Hawkins and Ben Webster Coleman Hawkins Encounters Ben Webster (1959)

Fontaines D.C. has the young-love-sucks angle covered. Coleman Hawkins and Ben Webster have the we’re-happy-adults-in-a-long-term-relationship sound. 

56 The Hold Steady Boys and Girls in America (2006)

On The Hold Steady’s third album, frontman Craig Finn croons about doing drugs, drinking, and dating people who also do both of those things. A perfect collection of bar room songs by a perfect bar room band. -Norm Quarrington

57 The Replacements Tim (1985)

The best jukebox record, start to finish. Every jukebox should be issued with Tim. Also, there’s no The Hold Steady without The Replacements, obviously. 

58 Old Crow Medicine Show O.C.M.S. (2004)

Fuck you, here’s “Wagon Wheel” again. Yes, the entire place will groan. No, I do not give a shit, because halfway through y’all will be singing along again. Shut the fuck up and drink your Natty Boh. The other songs are good too. -Peter Heyneman

59 Bob Dylan Blood on the Tracks (1975)

Yes, Bob Dylan technically co-wrote “Wagon Wheel”. No, the B-side was from 1973’s Pat Garrett & Billy The Kid soundtrack and not his breakup opus. But I’d rather hear “Idiot Wind”, ideally whilst a couple is literally breaking up at a nearby table. 

60 Chappell Roan The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess (2023)

Last spring my friends and I found ourselves in a great tiki themed honky tonk in Nashville and the DJ played Chappell Roan’s The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess in its entirety. This bar had more of a cozy, dive energy but the crowd was eclectic and the album was followed by a karaoke hour and somehow Roan’s mix of fun, flirty, a little moody, raunchy, and anthemic music fit the tenor of the evening perfectly. At the time Roan’s profile hadn’t yet blown up to the proportions it is now—I imagine now much more of the bar would be singing along and doing the “HOT TO GO!” choreography—but the songs themselves were high energy enough to invite dancing on your bar stool but also clever and emotional enough to provoke conversations with bartenders and intimate chat with friends. Being able to tow that delicate line musically in a dive bar is a true feat! -Diana Metzger

61 Robyn Body Talk (2010)

Robyn danced on her own so Chappell Roan could be hot to go. 

62 Warren Zevon Genius: The Best of Warren Zevon (2002)

Warren Zevon is a tragically-overlooked staple that is as suitable for a lonely bar as it is for a crowded karaoke spot. My friend’s and I have belted out “Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner” and “Excitable Boy” more frequently and more passionately than we ever did with “Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia, while happily sitting in silence to “Splendid Isolation”. This album is your favorite denim jacket – it suits every situation. -Matt Jacobs

63 Emahoy Tsege Mariam Gebru Ethiopiques, vol. 21: Emahoy (Piano Solo) (2006)

Here’s a real piano genius. Here’s the solo artist I listened to the most in 2024. 

64 NewJeans NewJeans 1st EP ‘New Jeans’ (2022)

It only has 4 songs on it, but every song is gorgeous, dreamy, dancy, perfection. -Annie Reese, Rock Falls

65 Rock Falls Rock Falls (2008)

I adore Rock Falls and consistently ask her to be my house band whenever I host my talk show in Chicago. I’m using this as another opportunity to reminder her her stuff is great. 

66 Glass Beams Mahal (2024)

Each time I listen to it, I feel like I’m pulling off a heist, crossing a forbidden lagoon, or pouring a cocktail at a bar like Eighteenth Street Lounge. -Jonny Grave

67 Jonny Grave Quartet Impala (2019)

This EP fits nicely in both a day drinking and I’ve drank too much drinking during the day situations. 

68 Gorillaz Cracker Island (2023)

Every song feels different. A little something for everyone. -Esmeralda Leon

69 Grace Jones Warm Leatherette (1980)

Speaking of Gorillaz, no ‘band’ tends to have as many collaborators. One such superstar is Grace Jones, who appears on Gorillaz’ Humanz album. Her version of The Normal’s “Warm Leatherette” is the superior version. 

70 The Philharmonik Live at NPR’s Tiny Desk (2024)

My favorite album this year is from a group outta San Francisco, The Philharmonik. I love this series and this album is really good. It’s fun and over too soon. -Haywood Turnipseed Jr. 

71 Waxahatchee Tigers Blood (2024)

A fellow 2024 Tiny Desk alum, Waxahatchee also made one of the year’s best records. This will work in a country bar, dive bar, neighborhood bar, any bar that cares about their soundtrack. 

72 Spoon Lucifer on the Sofa (2022)

It’s just a great rock album. While there are a couple slower tempo songs, none of the songs are downers. Every song is really good musically, so if you’re in a loud bar, just the music as a backdrop would add the ambiance. Spoon never disappoints! -Leah Allen

73 Friends of Dean Martinez The Shadow of Your Smile (1995)

Speaking of backdrop and ambiance, Friends of Dean Martinez will make you feel like you’re in a heist film with a happy ending. 

74 Jamie XX In Waves (2024)

It has some very dancy hits and I like to dance. -Jeremy Tromburg 

75 Les Mégatones Les Mégatones (2000)

Some people like to dance to modern dance music, some people like to dance to 1960s French Canadian instrumental rockabilly and surf.

76 Midwife No Depression in Heaven (2024)

I used to go to the bar to party, to have fun, meet my friends, or make some new friends. That was when I was young. I used to joke about wanting to be Michael Caine in Children of Men, smoking weed, listening to records, in a cool-ass house in the woods. Now, I’m old, and I wish I could have had that particular dream come true for me without bringing along the movie’s fascist government, who he was hiding from. Should have been more specific about that wish—my bad. Pull up a stool and let’s wallow about it. -Ian Graham

77 Paul McCartney McCartney II (1980)

Very few people enjoy “Temporary Secretary” as much as Ian and I. It’s a polarizing track that most patrons will abhor. Jukeboxes need a few songs like this. 

78 Holland Patent Public Library Joe Pera Talks With You (season 2 soundtrack) (2020)

It’s ideal for a bar. It’s quiet and calming and would bring people down a notch and make space for lovely conversation. -Sophie Lucido Johnson

79 Etta Baker Railroad Bill (1999)

Etta Baker looks and sounds like a character on Joe Pera. She’s an elderly blues musician that fucking shreds in a very polite way and looks like one of Joe’s grandma’s friends. This is the kind of record one patron adores and always plays and takes pride whenever they see someone Shazamming or asking the bartender what’s playing. 

80 Tegan and Sara So Jealous (2004)

Perfect mix of bops, feelings, and wistfulness for barroom feels. -Scott Smith 

81 Django Reinhardt Djangologie Vol9 / 1939-1940 (1970)

I loved the 2024 doc Fanatical: The Catfishing of Tegan and Sara. I can not think of another true crime flick that remains unsolved and isn’t about murder. It stuck with me and “I’ll See You In My Dreams” would have been great end credits music for the movie, which wasn’t needed since Tegan and Sara are, you know, pretty great musicians. 

82 Emilie Autumn Opheliac (2010)

If Emilie Autumn is on the jukebox, I know there’s gonna be a guy playing the bagpipes in the corner. I know there’s gonna be a girl behind the bar wearing a full boned corset. I know there’s gonna be a steampunk in the dish pit. I know their mead list is gonna be out of this world. I know everyone in the bar still has a tumblr. If Emilie Autumn is on the jukebox, everyone is going to cry to “Swallow” and make out to “Shallot” or shit… is it the other way around? Either way, we’re all carpooling to the renaissance festival later if you need a ride. -Kaylee Dugan 

83 Deltron 3030 Deltron 3030 (2000)

My preferred out of this world record. 

84 Miley Cyrus Plastic Hearts (2020)

Maybe you like the boppy riot grrrl feel of this album, maybe you don’t, but if you want to strike up a conversation at a bar when this album is playing, it’s as easy as saying “this is Miley Cyrus, right?” People will be quick to remember Miley’s last moments in pop culture prominence involving a nude ride on a wrecking ball, dancing rather oddly with a Beetlejuice pant-clad Robin Thicke, and her father using the phrase “devil skank,” possibly in reference to her. They probably won’t know that Miley went on to release this album in the heart of the pandemic, or that Billy Idol, Joan Jett, and Dua Lipa made guest appearances on it. They almost certainly won’t know the lyrical content of this album in which Miley expresses feelings of melancholy about her time in the spotlight and how she was perceived, and about the reality of who she is and how that isn’t perfect either. This is not necessarily an album that’s going to bring the perfect energy to your party, but if you’re looking for a juicy conversation topic with a particular sort of crowd, I recommend throwing it on. -Skyler Stills 

85 Joan Jett & the Blackhearts Greatest Hits (Disc 1) (2010)

I’ve played Joan Jett in bars and rock clubs for decades. “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” is great when things are great, “Crimson and Clover” is best when the place is mostly empty, “Bad Reputation” when you want to watch a Ronda Rousey fight. 

86 Sturgill Simpson Metamodern Sounds in Country Music (2014)

A good album to drink to, there’s some stompers but also some more atmospheric slower stuff that may be good for a quiet happy hour. -Chad Briggs

87 Hank Williams 20 of Hank Williams’ Greatest Hits (1997)

20 songs that sound like they were made explicitly for imbibing in public. 

88 Wooden Shjips V. (2018)

It’s a simple psychedelic mood enhancer with absolutely no negativity. It’s like a warm blanket for your soul. -Dan Sullivan, Coyote Riot

89 Coyote Riot Burnt Along the Way (2016)

This is the sound of modern urban Americana.

90 Bib BIBLICAL (2024) 

One of my favorite hardcore punk bands going right now. Catchy riffs, infectious grooves and blown out psychedelic vocals. Definitely scratches the itch. -Kevin Tit, Chill Parents, Drivel, Pilau, Qiik, Saafewaay

91 Drivel Drivel (2024)

A few hardcore records on a jukebox are great because they’re full of minute long shots of adrenaline that’ll shock everyone out of their stupor. Drivel’s most recent release is 10 songs in minutes of wake up! 

92 Liz Phair Exile in Guyville (1993)

Liz Phair is the cool, grungy, sexy, subversive, weirdo rocker chick of my dreams. Her most perfect album, Exile in Guyville, belongs on every jukebox in every dive bar in America. Every track is drone-y enough to talk over, but also enough of a banger to belt along to once you get drunk enough. Plus, her lyrics are so courageous and openly sexual (bordering on demented in the best way) that she is the ideal wing/hype woman. As she sings on “Strange Loop,” “The fire you like so much in me is the mark of someone adamantly free.” Just channel that energy and you’ll have enough confidence to tell that hot stranger at the bar that you “want to be [their] blowjob queen”… or something a little more subtle I guess. -Afriti Bankwalla 

93 Nation of Language Introduction, Presence (2020)

An artist known for being from Chicago (or Evanston, whatever) belongs next to another artist with songs explicitly about Chicago. 

94 Third Eye Blind Third Eye Blind (1997)

Perfect example of turn of the century alternative. Plus you gotta have an album where people know the words to an “uplifting” song about smoking meth. -Josh Saltzman, Ivy & Coney, Juneberry Garage 

95 Buzzcocks Singles Going Steady (1979)

I can not stand Third Eye Blind so I need it next to an album that’s superior in every way. 

96 Pixies Doolittle (1989)

I never get sick of Doolittle and I’d like to think it would be on the jukebox of a bar I’d never get sick of as well. The album is simultaneously fast and slow, loud and quiet, macabre and cute, weird and accessible. Doolittle has something for every mood you might have when at a bar—“Here Comes Your Man” for when you’re feeling optimistic and positive, “Gouge Away” and “Debaser” when you’re feeling punk, “Silver” when you’re feeling low key, “La La Love You” when you’re feeling flirty, “Hey” when you’re feeling chained, and “Tame” and “Crackity Jones” when you’re feeling…well, I guess insane. -Tyler Snodgrass

97 Lalo Schifrin More Mission: Impossible (1969)

Put on “Danube Incident” and people will think it’s Portishead but it’s not Portishead! It’s super chill music Portishead sampled! You want to be in a bar with super chill music good enough for Portishead. 

98 Sly & The Family Stone There’s a Riot Goin’ On (1971)

My favorite album to play on my favorite jukebox at my favorite bar (The Hungry Brain in Chicago, naturally) is known mostly for its messy, drug-addled disillusionment and pessimism. You might think this would be a downer in a bar environment, but: a) alcohol is a downer, too and b) there’s a big difference between a sad country song and a sad funk song. Depressed people deserve to groove too, after all, and the moment the hissing analog drum machine and deep bass start oozing out of a good speaker system in a properly lit establishment, I guarantee there is no mood-setting equivalent. -Seth Vanek, Velvetro, Clock Club

99 Otis Redding The Very Best of Otis Redding (1992)

Along with Hank Williams, there’s no better voice in a bar than Otis Redding. Since you want to close strong, since you want patrons to flip through the entire jukebox, since you want them to have to get to disc 99 to play “These Arms of Mine”, Mr. Pitiful concludes the 2024 Dream Jukebox.

THE BEST ALBUM AGAINST DIGITAL JUKEBOXES

Creed Weathered (2001)

I don’t get out much, but my friend Billy is always sharing his phone’s location with me, so I like to go on the TouchTunes app and buy a bunch of credits to play “My Sacrifice” on repeat at whatever bar he’s currently at. -Dan Leu, The Kickback 

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