The start of the NFL season is the start of spooky season. From early September through mid February Americans can finally agree on blood, guts and CTE (Please know that I played Pop Warner football for four years, was good enough to be a starting
quarterback (with write-ups in the local paper!), quit sports to play in bands, returned to a love/hate relationship with the sport
to finally embracing the futility of everything and watching my team (Bear down!) consistently disappoint while threatening to move to the suburbs or hell (Indiana) rather than just sell the team.). The main reason this matters isn’t the sport or the sports
books or fantasy leagues, it’s the ads.

Football is important because it’s the last thing we have to watch live. Yes, NBA Finals and World Series games can draw large numbers of viewers, but nothing can compete with 18 weeks of regular season football.

Like most Americans, I was tuned into the 49ers Rams Week 1 Netflix game from Australia. When there’s only one football game on the air or a streaming platform, that game is going to garner the most eyes and the biggest advertisers.

Meta has a new ad. It’s about…Meta. It’s one of those minute long ads that sort of presents the history of a company whilst introducing new products or services. I saw the ad during a commercial break in the game and have no idea what it was attempting to sell (AI?). I was too captivated by the score.

Meta is using David Bowie’s “Five Years” from “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust” in an ad about artificial intelligence (the ad is definitely pro-AI, I’ve watched it since my initial viewing). The ad is over a month old but I only saw it because I had to sit through ads to watch the game.

I am a bigger Bowie fan than football fan. I love this song. I’ve listened to “Five Years” more than any other Bowie song. I’ve performed this song on stage. I am extremely familiar with this song. This is not the song I would choose to make people feel better about AI.

Even if you are not familiar with this song, it’s clear upon first listen it’s about the end of the world. In case you haven’t seen the ad, it uses the actual Bowie version of the song, specifically the lines about needing so many people, Meta didn’t cheap out and use an instrumental.

This is spooky. AI is spooky, bordering on downright scary and actually apocalyptic. Don’t believe me, believe the people quitting working for AI companies because they’re literally worried about the actual apocalypse.

Meta is using one of Bowie’s best non-singles, a gorgeous plea for more time at the end of the world, in a commercial for a technology the majority of Americans do not want airing during America’s most popular TV show.

It’s spooky season. The dumbest people are using the best art to soundtrack the potential end of the world. Lean in. It’s time to finally embrace the futility of everything. We may only have five more football seasons left.

Feature drawing by Daniel Knox

This piece is in Recommend If You Like The Spooky Issue Fall 2026. You can find physical copies in bars, cafes and stores in Chicago and Washington, D.C. The newspaper is available for purchase here. 

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