Batman has always held a special place in my psyche. Not my heart, mind you, because I’ve never been able to bring myself to even like the bat-cop, but if you watched Cartoon Network as a child in the 90s, you probably know more about the lore of Gotham City than you care to demonstrate. This is because the Animated Series era of Batman was required viewing for anyone with basic cable, and animation provides the best medium for telling superhero stories. Above all others, Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero sits supreme among the golden era of gritty children’s programming. This direct-to-video movie came out in 1998 featuring Mr. Freeze as the big baddie for the Bat to take down, and I’ve done some thinking recently about why I liked this installment the most.

Big polar bears doing big polar bear shit

Since SubZero takes place in ‘the Arctic,’ (seems like a big place, but what do I know about that) throwing in a couple cold weather specific animals is a cinematic must. We get our animal companionship fix in the form of Notchka and Shaka, two polar bears who have taken an affinity to Mr. Freeze. Why? We never quite learn, and they’re never seen again after the credits roll. It had to be the vaguely defined ice powers, or something.  As an original Former Horse Girl of the Nineties, any kind of relationship between a powerful mammal and a human spoke to me on a spiritual level. Horses, wolves, polar bears, whatever, I loved it all, because just as many humans wanted to be my friend as they wanted to be Freeze’s friend. ANYWAYS.

Putting the Sub into Sub Zero

Let’s not linger here for too long, okay? The central focus of the movie’s plot is Nora Fries, wife to Mr. Freeze, whose mysterious illness requires her to be kept unconscious and floating in a vat of blue liquid, hidden away in her husband’s secret arctic laboratory like a sexy Mrs. Claus. The aforementioned mysterious illness has motivated Mr. Freeze to kidnap Barbara Gordon, AKA Batgirl, to serve as an organ donor without her consent, and Batman must show up to save the day from all illegal organ-stealing. 

Why did this leave such an impression on me? The facts are as follows. Nora gets to spend the entire movie sleeping, her husband is the ultimate Wife Guy, and the animators designed her to look way too sexy to be a lady in a coma. All I’m saying is that all my Batgirl feminist fantasies left the building the second she floated onto the screen. 

A heavy plot, without getting too boring

Prior to SubZero, we had the 1993 release of Batman: Mask of the Phantasm. To save you some time, Phantasm explores the exciting world of failed relationships because of a sense of duty, and spends most of the movie trying to uncover an embezzlement scheme. I think there is also a subplot involving campaign donations, but I don’t remember, because I was a child and did not know what embezzlement or campaign finance was. My brother watched it on VHS every week for the better part of a year, and I can’t remember much at all.

SubZero was also far too mature for a child audience, but it was 1998! Who cared! While kidnapping and the stealing of other people’s organs went a little over my head in elementary school, I could deduce that it was a Very Mean and Bad Thing, unlike “embezzlement,” which sounded like a great time. 

A happy ending for all parties involved

The whole ordeal gets wrapped up in a lovely little bat-shaped bow. Batman saves Batgirl, who in turn saves Nora, who in turn is saved by Bruce Wayne, who uses the Power of Being a Rich Guy to heal her from her mysterious illness. Mr. Freeze saves his own soul, or something like it, and decides to keep doing his thing in ‘the Arctic,’ with his two large adult polar bear sons. The last we see of him, he’s just watched a news report about how his mortal enemy has just saved Nora’s life, and he wanders out into the cold with Notchka and Shaka, presumably to go live among them and give up the Wife Guy lifestyle. 

Maybe he started over completely, living a new life as a bear himself. Can you fit a bear-wife in a suspended animation coma tank? I hope they’re all very happy together. 

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