Can I have your baseball cards?

I’m not going to sell them. This isn’t about cashing in on an inflated market for trading cards. I just miss baseball cards. 

All of my baseball, basketball, comic book (the ’94 Fleer Ultra X-Men set still looks great!), football and hockey cards were taken when I was 17. The storage unit in our apartment complex was broken into and everything was stolen. I couldn’t have cared less at the time. Why would I ever need baseball cards again? I was 17! I was in bands and dating and doing other things 17-year-olds do. But 22 years later, I want some baseball cards. 

I used to love baseball cards. I have vivid memories of trading 1991 Fleer baseball cards in my fourth grade class. It was the night of a school play and the memories are vivid because those Fleer baseball cards had yellow borders on them. I was trading yellow (!!!) baseball cards in school at night! 

I used to love hockey cards. My first best friend and I become former best friends during a fight over an Eric Lindros 1992 Upper Deck rookie card, the one with him in the Team Canada jersey. I got the card in a pack, my friend Mike S. (I remember his last name, I just don’t want to remind him of his wrongdoings from 30 years ago) said I traded it to him (I did not!) and he brought in his dad to resolve the situation. I caved in to his dad and said I traded it to Mike even though I did not trade that card! Caving in to this dude is one of my few regrets. I did it because their family had Hawkvision (premium cable to watch Chicago Blackhawks games) and took me to a New Year’s Eve Blackhawks vs. San Jose Sharks game. Anyway, I was convinced I was tricked out of a fortune. The card is now available on eBay for $3. 

I used to love basketball cards. I remember politely explaining to my friend Anthony A. (I remember his last name, I just don’t want him to feel shame) that his ‘signed’ 1991 Michael Jordan 1991 Skybox card was not Jordan’s signature. It was clear. Why would Michael Jordan sign his cards with a ballpoint pen? Why was the card not in any protective casing? How was it not signed before lunch and signed after lunch? Michael Jordan definitely did not hang out with our grade school class during lunch. The Berto Center was close, only a 33 minute drive, but not that close. 

I just like baseball cards, OK? They’re fun to look at and good conversation starters. This one might be my favorite conversation starter: 

Isn’t Frank Thomas cool! He gave the middle finger to the photographer! Isn’t the card weird because Frank is wearing the old jersey and hat and the new logo is on the card! As a young person, this was very exciting.

Here’s another card. This is a basketball card.

Did you notice two murderers enjoying some NBA basketball? 

Aren’t cards fun! 

Once again, I’m not begging for your investments. If you got into cards at the start of Covid and are banking on the bubble never bursting, cool. This isn’t for you. This is for the person with a box or binder of cards they never look at and will never sell. Please, just give them to me. 

Can I have your baseball cards? 

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