For a lot of us, the holidays come with complicated emotions. For others the sounds of Christmas trigger a sense of joy and togetherness. I fall a little into both camps being able to enjoy holiday spirit while embracing cynical humor toward the absurdity of it all.

For the last 5 years, it’s been a little project of mine to curate a massive holiday playlist composed of songs representing all ends of the spectrum. It’s become a tradition in our house that at some point, we’re going to get boozed up and run it roulette style. I spend more time than I care to admit compiling this list and along the way several favorites rose to the top. I’d like to call attention to some of the lesser known original tracks I think deserve more love in no particular order.  

Joe Pesci “If It Doesn’t Snow on Christmas“

As an Academy Award winning actor, Joe Pesci is a household name having starred in many of the greatest films of the late 20th century, such as Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Casino, and Gone Fishin’. A lesser known fact is that Pesci actually began his show business career as a musician, having played guitar and sang for several bands in the NY area since the 60’s. In 1998, he reminded everyone of his passion by releasing his first album in over 30 years, Vincent LaGuardia Gambini Sings Just for You, where you’ll find our next song, “If It Doesn’t Snow on Christmas,” an R rated humorous inquiry into Santa’s weather related contingency plans with particular emphasis on how his obesity might affect them. 

Insane Clown Posse “Santa’s a Fat Bitch“

Are you surprised that Insane Clown Posse has a Christmas song? Those wicked clowns have professed love for innumerable things over the years: hatchets, Faygo, family, magnets, etc.. etc..  Somewhere on that list you’ll find Christmas. A Carnival Christmas was released by Psychopathic Record in 1994 as ICP’s third EP.  “Santa’s a Fat Bitch” is the album’s standout track, even charting on Billboard’s US Top 100 for five consecutive weeks.  Beneath the face paint, you’ll find this song’s lyrics offer a commentary on how the inequalities of capitalistic societies resonate with lower socioeconomic communities throughout the holiday season.

Pansy Division “Homo Christmas“

Pansy Division are first known as being the first openly gay rock band but it should not go unknown that they’re responsible to writing one of the greatest Christmas songs of all time. “Homo Christmas” is a Tired all the Time band favorite.  It’s probably not the only song on the list unabashedly referencing sodomy but it’s certainly the best. I prefer this YouTube rip of the band performing on The Lavender Lounge Christmas Special to accompany the original audio.

Frank Sidebottom “Christmas is Really Fantastic“

Frank Sidebottom is the comic alter ego of the late Christopher Mark Sievey. Outside of his albums and decades of UK pop culture appearances, he might be most recognizable to American viewers as the inspiration behind the 2014 independent comedy, Frank, where Michael Fassbender portrayed the character of an enigmatic, paper mache headed, musician. Released as the title track off 1986’s Christmas Is Really Fantastic, the album cut is great on its own. However, I’m partial to the rawness of this televised rendition from the 2007 Videogaiden Holiday Special, that’s just Frank and a synthesizer in all its atonal glory.

The Handsome Family “Stupid Bells“

Appearing on 2003’s Smoothed and Covered, a compilation of rare and previously unreleased songs by the Handsome Family, the alt-country duo most known for providing the title theme for season one of HBO’s True Detective, “Stupid Bells” is a marriage of festive lo-fi jingle with lyrically misanthropic undertones. It swings wildly from sweet to salty with, “Christmas day is really neat, I walk downtown in my bare feet,” to “Christmas is the reason when most folks kill themselves. Christmas is the reason for all those stupid bells.”  The Handsome Family have an uncanny talent for storytelling that will keep you engaged through this macabre Xmas comedy.  

Al Jourgensen & Mark Thwaite “It’s Always Christmas Time”

In 2009 between Ministry’s initial break-up and eventual reunion, Al Jourgensen in collaboration with prolific rock guitarist, Mark Thwait, delivered on a pledge to write a Christmas song in remembrance to Paul Raven, the late Killing Joke bassist. In the extended YouTube video Jourgensen dons a Santa hat and explains, “I’m over it, I’m seriously over it. All I’ve been hearing about is Christmas, Christmas, Christmas… My wife wants me to do a Christmas song. We’re in the middle of Christmas. Go FUCK YOURSELF! How’s that?” There’s something seductive about this begrudgingly crafted Yuletide ditty.  Uncle Al might be over it, but I’m not.

Froggy Fresh “Christmas“

Tyler Stephen Cassidy (aka Froggy Fresh) is best known for his viral debut video for his song, “The Baddest,” while still under his original moniker, Krispy Kreme, which introduced us to the world the dimwitted southern affected rapper and his silent partner, Money Maker Mike. His success eventually caught the attention of the Krispy Kreme doughnut company that forced him to abandon the alias when served a trademark infringement notification. Under the new name, Froggy Fresh, Cassidy continued to release music and expand between 2012 and 2018, until he eventually dropped the character to focus on making music under his own name. In my opinion “Christmas” is the crown jewel of his body of work. Here we see Froggy Fresh decked out for the occasion as an elf alongside a Money Maker Mike Santa, running through his Christmas wish list consisting primarily of John Cena branded merchandise.

Jesus and Mary Chain “Birthday“

I’m pretty sure this track from Jesus and Mary Chain’s 1998 album, MUNKI, has little to do with Jesus’s birthday. The lyrics paint a picture of an unfavorable character drinking alone on their birthday, probably as a result of their demeanor. In this context, Christmas serves more as an ironic reference to the individual’s vitriolic state of mind. Or it could be interpreted as this person feeling the same dejection they feel throughout the holiday season. I know that’s not very festive but this dreamy song says Christmas a whole lot so it fits right in on the list. 

Yeah I’m a bad motherfucker now but I once was cool

And I was born a long time ago today

And everybody loves me goes away

And it’s Christmas time again

Yeah it’s Christmas time again

And it’s Christmas time again again and again

In my head

In my head

Am I dead

In my head

Magnetic Fields “Everything is One Big Christmas Tree“

This Magnetic Fields tune from their 2010 album, Realism, is like a Christmas song Rorschach test. Stephin Merritt’s lyrics on “Everything is One Big Christmas Tree” display a hint of ambiguity providing the listener a broad canvas for interpretation. Is it a song about a child at a Christmas party awaiting the arrival of Sandy, meaning Santa? Or is Sandy a relative that’s being coerced to put down their book and join the celebration? Is it all a dream or is it a nightmare?

Jesu “Christmas“

“Christmas” is the title track from the 2010 EP by Jesu, the post-metal project by Justin Broadrick formed following the dissolution of Godflesh. I’m going to be honest and say this 9 minutes of triumphant doom is best consumed alone because everything about it resonates with solitude. Broadrick revealed in a 2013 Exclaim interview the inspiration for the EP was, “the onset of the Christmas period and the onset of emotions and feelings of nostalgia, joy and sadness that the period often evokes.” As I said before, the holidays evoke conflicted feelings for a lot of us. Hearing a work of art that acknowledges those conflicted emotions makes them feel recognized. At least it does for me.

You can listen to the full holiday playlist on Spotify or Youtube. Note: Several tracks are exclusive to either format depending on availability. 

Ed’s Spotify Christmas Playlist

Ed’s Christmas YouTube Playlist 

Recommend If You Like is not owned or funded by a billionaire or even a millionaire. We do have a Patreon. If you can’t afford to become a patron, please sign up to our mailing list. It’s free and we’re asking here instead of a pop-up. Pop-ups are annoying.