How I Used My Phone Between 1 a.m. and 6 a.m. During My Kid’s First Month 

A new person means being awake and somewhat aware during the middle of the night. In order to maintain that state I’ve used my phone somewhat differently for the last month.

I learned that I don’t want to watch anything. It’s too difficult to go back to sleep. 

I don’t want comedy. Comedy keeps me awake.

I don’t want anything sad or depressing or dark about kids but that’s not a new thing, just since I had a kid.

But I do need to stay awake. Based on what my phone tells me, this I what I listened to, read and purchased between 1 a.m. and 6 a.m. during my kid’s first month of existence*.

Listened to 8 hours about Black Saturday on The Lapsed Fan

Listened to 4 hours of The Last Resort: A Chronicle of Paradise, Profit, and Peril at the Beach by Sarah Stodola

Listened to 3 hours of Up First 

Listened to 3 hours of the Sports Illustrated Media Podcast 

Listened to 2 hours of the Wrestling News

Listened to 1 hour of 100 Things We’ve Lost to the Internet by Pamela Paul

Listened to 1 hour of Eat the Buddha: Life and Death in a Tibetan Town by Barbara Demick

Listened to 30 minutes of The Sporkful 

Read (perused, really) 70 magazines via the Libby app 

Read 30 New York Times Cooking recipes, ended up making 4

Read 12 Wirecutter pieces

Read 5 Chicago Bulls season previews

Read 2 Chicago Blackhawks season previews

Read the Scream 5 Wikipedia 

Read the Scream franchise Wikipedia 

Read the Scream 6 Wikipedia 

Read Neve Campbell’s Wikipedia 

Read the Halloween franchise Wikipedia 

Read The Munsters (2022) Wikipedia 

Read The Washington Post home page nightly

Read The New York Times home page nightly 

Read Chicago White Sox game recaps until they were statistically eliminated from the playoffs 

Read anything about the Chicago Bears until their loss to the Washington Commanders 

Read about the James Codren being a dick at a restaurant story

Tweeted once

Started and scrapped multiple drafts exploring the best two comedy performances of the last decade: Conner O’Malley in Detroiters S2E4 and Conner O’Malley in Joe Pera Talks with You S2E6

Designed and did not order custom Nikes

Designed and did not order custom Vans

Purchased and later returned two separate pairs of Adidas shoes

Ordered groceries for pickup from separate grocery stores, forgetting items explicitly needed for planned recipes in both orders

Ordered a case of wine 

Ordered Halloween candy 

Ordered Halloween makeup 

Ordered witch hats

Scrolled through Instagram for hours, following 10 accounts that post ‘vintage’ horror and pop culture pictures

Reorganized apps into folders to make it more difficult to open apps and easier to see the phone background 

*If you believe life begins at conception you’ve never fed a baby in the middle of the night.

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