1996 is canonically the last year of the 1990s (the Telecommunications Act of 1996, the last Tim Burton-y Tim Burton movie, Beavis and Butt-head nearly scored) and 1997 is canonically the first year of what Jack FM would call “Today” (Creed’s first record, the world’s most famous person is killed by paparazzi).

And while we now know that “Today” sucks, it started off on a pretty fun note with an ad campaign from Miller Lite that debuted at the last 90s Super Bowl (the Patriots lost, very 90s), Super Bowl XXXI. January 26th 1997, the world was introduced to Dick, a fictional ad wizard with a penchant for retro aesthetics, and drinkin’ beer.

I don’t know much about the campaign, true to its 90s cusp origins, finding information about it on the internet is spotty. I was able to track down that this is the first ad that debuted during that Super Bowl:

There’s a lot going on here, so I’ll try to cut it up into bite sized chunks. Miller Lite introduces Dick, shows his picture, then tells us that he’s a “creative superstar” and they got him drunk and asked him to come up with commercials for them. Dick then decides to call his commercial segments “Miller Time,” a slogan that already existed.

This is just the set up and it takes 30 seconds.

Next we cut to a grainy shot of a man in a Monty Python-looking wool suit wandering in a field with grass up to his chest looking around cautiously. He walks into an open country road and it’s revealed he’s not wearing pants, his dick and nuts are covered by a Miller Lite logo. Then he gets to the other side. 

Fin.

I think I just about died laughing when I saw it. My dad did too. It was for weird little nerds somehow. I don’t know what in particular makes it that way, but it was. It wasn’t particularly clever like the Budweiser frogs (I’m using clever loosely, it’s at least a coherent premise), but also wasn’t stupid like how Spuds MacKenzie is (an alcoholic dog that makes human women horny). Dick lived somewhere in the middle.

The ad campaign went on like this for over a year. Dick drunkenly comes up with an idea for a little short film and then shares it with America while selling beer. There were ups and downs and the tone changed over the course of dozens of spots with multiple directors (Gerald Casale of Devo directed some!). But the thread seemed to be that they looked out of place on TV and relied on offbeat “unmarketable” premises like horny old people, beefy men, or cowboys going pee.

My favorite one was when they introduced us to Dick’s best friend Jimmy, a stuntman(?) that needed to test the beer before Dick could ethically sell it.

What many don’t understand about the 90s is that they were the 70s. Jimmy understood this, and his song about testing Miller Lite has been stuck in my head ever since.

Eventually they took Dick’s name off of them and just went with the Miller Time bumpers. Maybe Dick was one weird layer too many, keeping people from getting drunk.

Then in 1999 they just stopped Miller Time all together and did ads about picking up smokin’ hot babes featuring TV actors.

Sides were chosen. Miller had no interest in being a weird alternative brand. Dick’s ads were Miller’s experimental college years, but let’s get real it always had to settle down and make some money.

It missed out though. Around 10 years later Old Spice changed its image from “the smell of old man” to “the smell of dorm room masturbator” to great success!

And now every car insurance commercial can trace its sketch comedy heritage back to them. Is Dick the missing link between the old world and Today? A reminder that being early is the same as being wrong?

Maybe, but what was Miller Lite supposed to do? The mountaintop had been reached as far as advertising beer to football fans goes, just show the drunk sex dog. Miller put themselves out there and danced like no one was watching. And with a 30 second preamble before Dick was able to get to his esoteric short films, it’s likely no one was watching.

Dick deserved better, but there’s just no justice in the world of beer marketing, and all things being fair, the wassup commercials of 1999 were far more quotable. 

RIP Dick: Misunderstood auteur, Super Bowl icon, creative superstar.

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