Hand-me-down clothes are the best clothes. Kids grow. Little kids grow quickly. Spending money on clothes they’ll rarely wear because of growth spurts and stains is silly, regardless of how cute they’ll look in it. So I’m very, very grateful my family is friends with other families that have older kids. 

If my wife and I were purchasing all of our child’s clothes, they would not have any superhero options. We’re not ignoring the superhero industrial complex, just trying to put it off as long as possible. There’s seemingly no escape from the superheroes and I’m actually looking forward to it. I wore X-Men and Spawn t-shirts when I was a kid (If these shirts were still made, I would buy adult versions ASAP), but I was closer to 10-year-old than two when absurd versions of steroid riddled sociopaths were on my body. 

This is also not coming from a place of judgement. I do not care if your toddler is wearing Batman or Spider-Man clothing. I’m just trying to push it back as long as I can, encouraging gravitating towards characters like Daniel Tiger and Cookie Monster because I know they will not be willing to wear PBS Kids related clothing in a few years. 

But we do have these hand-me-downs. And they’re great. They’re in excellent condition, free of stains and look good! Problem is, a few of them have Batman, Spider-Man and Superman on them. The dilemma (I realize this is hardly a dilemma), is do we let the kid wear the high quality clothing featuring IP that makes billions or stick by our initial refusal of all things superhero?

We’ve done a bit of both. 

The stuff featuring current iterations of superheroes was given away to friends and donated. This allowed us to avoid the indoctrination of the current DC and Marvel universes. Now, if they want to play in those spaces, they’ll have to find it somewhere else, like everywhere else. At the playground, in school, in every store, etc. But at least it’s not on their body?

We kept the stuff featuring the vintage logos, stuff that appeals just to the parents, and what is kids clothing for if not to scratch a nostalgia itch? So the kid has a Batman shirt and Batman sweater and every time they wear either, I’m thinking about my death. 

Batman is only Batman because Bruce Wayne witnessed the murder of his parents. If they’re alive, Bruce Wayne stays Bruce Wayne. Batman can only exist because of trauma. Why am I putting trauma related shirts on my toddler? 

Is this the atheist equivalent of wearing a crucifix? Am I acknowledging my mortality? A reminder to never leave a show early? A lesson in giving the criminal what they want to avoid catastrophic damage? 

Whatever. I’m still going to dress my kid in the clothes. They look great, the kid likes them and it reminds me of watching the 1960s Batman TV show everyday after school when I was a little kid. There’s no fucking way my kid will ever watch two to four hours of syndicated, not-commercial-free TV every afternoon. 

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