Threads now exists. The newest social media platform is under the Meta umbrella, joining Facebook and Instagram to strengthen its grip on the social media landscape. 

Twitter is bleeding. The social media platform that once surpassed Facebook for 83 weeks or so around 2016 is a shell of itself, seemingly self sabotaging to own the libs. 

The last 25 weeks of social media feels like the last 25 years of professional wrestling. While we’re not sure what happens in either forum, we can be sure that CM Punk will dominate the discourse. 

Facebook/Meta = World Wrestling Entertainment

Facebook is just a mash up of Friendster, MySpace and Hot or Not. It took all of the things that worked for social media around the territories and slowly incorporated them or bought up their competition. It’s an East Coast thing. 

Twitter = World Championship Wrestling 

Was it ever really profitable? Was it always just a way to have grifters and bad, bad men pretend they were real Americans? 

Instagram = Extreme Championship Wrestling

“I bought my competition!” Vince McMahon claimed when he took over WCW. But the company that actually helped him remain relevant was his purchase of ECW. ECW doesn’t mean much today, but former ECW Owner Paul Heyman sure does. Facebook doesn’t mean much today for a certain target demo, but Instagram sure does. 

Threads = NXT

The young upstart that has potential to take out the number 2 promotion in the country. 

Mastodon = Impact 

It’s technically readily available, but is anyone using it? Sure, there are some names you’d recognize, but isn’t it just kinda sad?

Hive = Ring of Honor 

It’s technically readily available, but is anyone using it? Sure, there are some names you’d recognize, but isn’t it just kinda sad? You know what, this one has potential to be good. This is a dark horse pick for a solid #3.  

Bluesky = Pro Wrestling Guerilla

The demand outweighs the supply. 

TikTok = New Japan Pro-Wrestling

The superior product some parts of the US are trying to shut down. 

LinkedIn = Major League Wrestling

Technically exists.

Nextdoor = CHIKARA 

A haven for creeps and weirdos. 

Myspace = National Wrestling Alliance

Without MySpace, there’s no Facebook. Without the NWA, there’s no big gold belt. Myspace was once owned by a musician, the AWA is currently owned by a musician. 

Friendster = American Wrestling Association 

The true beginning of this nightmare. The home of Hulk Hogan right before his mid-80s glory days. 

We’re waiting for the social media equivalent of All Elite Wrestling. Until Meta/WWE has true competition from someone other than Billionaire Elon/Ted, we’re going to be stuck in this aimless era dominated by socially inept East Coast billionaires. 

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