I liked the New Girl OK. I watched most episodes starting around season 3. It was fine, nice TV. No objections. Not a favorite but definitely enjoyable. It was a good show to watch on Hulu whenever there wasn’t anything else you wanted to watch.

I do not remember any particular New Girl episode. Sure, the post-Super Bowl Prince episode may pop into my brain every once in a while, but I can’t cite one line of dialogue, I just remember Prince was a fan of the show, wanted to be on the show, they wrote a show for him, and for a long time, the Zooey Deschanel Prince duet from that episode was the only Prince music on Spotify until his death. Anyway, are we dead?

The New Girl finale flash forwards a few years. Nick and Jess are married. They have a child. The child is wearing a Chicago Bears jersey. The child is wearing a Mitch Trubisky Chicago Bears jersey.

How old is that kid? 5? 6? The finale aired in May 2018 so is this now? 2024? 2025? Let’s say that kid is in utero in the series finale in 2018. Does that make it now? This can’t be real. We are not alive.

Did Nick and Jess die at the end of New Girl and this is a fantasy? Did New Girl producers really think Mitch Trubisky would still be the Chicago Bears quarterback? In 2024? 2023? Is this nothing? Are we nothing?

The Bears are bad. The Bears were bad in 2017 when this episode was written. Their record was 5-11. It was their fourth consecutive losing season. Mitch Trubisky was named starter in week 5 of 2017. He ended the season with a 4-8 record. Why would anyone think Trubisky would still be playing for the Bears in 2023, 2024 after 2017?

Was the New Girl mocking the 2023 Chicago Bears?

I’ve thought about this episode, specifically the 40 second flash forward, most every Sunday from September through January from since 2018. This kid can’t be real. None of this is possible. That future could never have happened. This reality, a Bears team with a stable quarterback, a quarterback so good kids want to wear their jersey, is not happening.

Why did the New Girl do this? Why isn’t this covered on talking heads sports shows? Is there something that can be done to take us back in time and make this reality our reality? No? Time travel isn’t possible? We’re stuck as Bears fans forever with subpar QBs forever?

JK, I know we’re alive. It’s actually not bad being a Bears fan. Hell, I don’t hate Trubisky or any other former Bears QB (except Jay Cutler, fuck Cutler). I’ve just had a 40-second clip of a television show stuck in my head, taunting the idea of rooting for the Chicago Bears, for 5 years. I do not want this.

Kudos, New Girl. Your series finale is still with me and looks like it’ll be with me through yet another Bears rebuild.

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