I didn’t want to like Top Gun: Maverick. I have never seen Top Gun but it looked pretty obnoxious to me as a teen, and then I never got around to it (Sorry, Tony Scott, The Last Boy Scout is still perfect). I was a salty ‘lil fella, but I’m sure if I saw it now I’d be fine with it. Maybe I will someday!

The point is, I have no attachment. From my point of view, my love of Top Gun: Maverick has nothing to do with its IP track record. In fact it overcomes having a negative connotation in my mind.

But even with no track record to speak of, I went opening weekend because we needed this. Movie theaters needed this, audiences needed this, I needed this. The state of movie cinema feels like it’s teetering on an edge right now. A lot of people are reluctant or unable to go to the theater because of Covid. Would you risk your life and the life of your loved ones to see Liam Neeson grimly holding a gun?

Personally I would, and did, but I am also an idiot. 

Between Covid, fast tracked streaming options, some pretty formulaic mid level movies, a complete absence of studio comedies and the oppressive monopoly of (mostly) soulless Disney/Marvel/Star Wars movies, I understand if anyone thinks going to the theater is a waste. Which is why I begrudgingly crown Top Gun: Maverick the perfect movie for our times.

So if I want to discuss this movie, I’m going to have to mention spoilers, but also know that the existence of this movie is a spoiler in and of itself. The fact they made the movie means Tom Cruise is going to fly a plane very fast and do tricks and things. This is just about all there is to spoil.

First of all, the movie is so simple yet action packed. You can feel yourself being manipulated as it’s happening and you won’t care. The opening scene is a simple setup/payoff where a guy goes “Hey Tom Cruise (I don’t recall the character’s name), you have to fly a plane at mach 10!” Then he gets in a plane and does it, all while mean old Ed Harris gives him the stern police chief routine. I don’t know how fast mach 10 is, I don’t know why he has to do it, and they don’t explain it, but I was on the edge of my seat.

This example is also the entire movie. It’s a series of simple set ups and predictable payoffs. Next up Tom Cruise has to train a class of younger pilots to bomb a facility where they are going to make bombs or something. Obviously they blow it up, but here’s the magic: No one tells us who is making bombs, or where the facility is. Then when they finally get to the place, we never see the face of any enemies, and all the stuff is written in English.

I didn’t know you could do that! You can just say “bad guys” and that’s good enough and no one cares. What a waste of time when all these other movies have been explaining motivations or the geopolitical climate. You idiots, just say “bad guys” and then bomb ’em. It’s real simple stuff.

In a year that has actually had some uniquely exhilarating movies like Jackass Forever and Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick manages to combine what both of those movies did best. The practical stunts and full commitment from the movie’s star like Jackass, and the overwhelming visuals that display a technical mastery like Everything Everywhere. 

Top Gun: Maverick is a mostly complete movie that I can see appealing to your average film Twitter nerd as well as those white dudes with the sunglasses/fish avatars that they like to make fun of. It hits all the empty plot points that the Marvel movies do but without making me feel like a weird virgin. It’s a miracle but this movie… gave me hope? Hope that there can be a uniting force through film. Hope that there’s still some remnant of monoculture that we can all talk with each other about. It’s like if Mad Max: Fury Road didn’t have all those kinky outfits so you could talk about it with grandpa.

And finally it’s perfect because of Tom Cruise. Despite what that rascal might get up to offscreen, he’s our greatest movie star and there’s a case for GOAT status. I went to this movie on the power of Tom Cruise alone, and I left rewarded. That’s the ultimate seal of approval I can give. Sometimes I go to the movies based on plot or director or buzz, but I’m probably only watching a movie for its star if they’re named Tom Cruise or Nicolas Cage. And whichever one of those dudes is the last one standing might be our last pure movie star. A movie star is something to be appreciated because they’re still human in a way other draws aren’t. A movie star can be bigger than a franchise name or a line of toys. It’s a probably insane man willing to learn how to fly an F-18 just to keep me coming back to the theater, and for that I have to say Tom Cruise is our best one.

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