My girlfriend and I had regular DJ gigs in the mid 2000s in Chicago. Our gimmick was we only played music by Chicago artists (or like the suburbs, pretty much anywhere between Rockford and Chicago was fine because we had to play a lot of Cheap Trick). The most stable gigs were at punk bars Delilah’s and Liar’s Club, so we played a ton of punk and garage rock. The songs we spun (I’m using the word spun correctly, we lugged about 100 45s around with us in addition to about 1,000 CDs) most every set were Shellac’s “Prayer to God” and Big Black’s cover of Cheap Trick’s “He’s a Whore.”

The songs served as a litmus test of sorts. If you liked those songs, we were likely to like you. If you didn’t like those songs, you probably wouldn’t like us. I have no idea if that’s actually true, it’s just something I believed 20 years ago and still sort of believe. Maybe the songs are just good and we wanted to share what we like. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. The songs exist and I’m grateful they do.

For better or worse, the most important musical modern figure in my adult life was Steve Albini. While Kurt Cobain changed my life as a preteen and teenager, the person that made the biggest impact since I’ve been old enough to vote is the guy that recorded Cobain’s best record. I always knew this and was too afraid to ever actually talk to the guy.

I could have easily talked to the guy. I had like 50 chances to talk to the guy. We literally worked 3 blocks from each other for more than a decade. I saw his band in small rooms. Hell, I interviewed the guy that produced Nirvana’s second best record with no problem whatsoever. Finding out how one guy placed mics around the drums for “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was nothing. But even thinking about asking the guy that wrote “The Problem with Music” for The Baffler about recording “Serve the Servants,” a song that WAS ABOUT ME! when I was a pre-teen, that was just too much.

Speaking of “The Problem with Music,” I connected to this essay in ways I could never achieve. I was too young to read it when it was published in December 1993. I did print out a copy of it in 2003. I was working my college office job and read my very long print out on the Red Line between the Jackson stop and the Belmont stop on my way to my college night job (I worked concessions at a movie theater). The thing connected. Even at 20-years-old I knew I couldn’t live up to these ideals. Rereading the now three decade old essay, it’s laughable that anyone cared about any of this shit. Even then I thought taking the money and doing whatever you could with the money was way better than ever saying no to the money.

Guess who was right? Me! I was right!

Three years after writing “The Problem with Music” Albini hit record for Bush’s Razorblade Suitcase!

Related, I legitimately like this record and think the production is fantastic. No shame, no guilt.

Soon after Albini worked with the most blatant Cobain clone (once again, I like Razorblade Suitcase), Steve hit record for the Jimmy Page and Robert Plant reunion record. He didn’t take points. Why? Ethics? Fuck ethics! Get the money, Steve!

It’s noble to live with ethics in music. It’s noble to live with ethics in general. It’s foolish to convince yourself there’s ethics in entertainment. You are not hurting the band by taking points when the band is Bush or the guys from Led Zeppelin. If Gavin can make money stealing from Kurt and Jimmy can make money stealing from every dead Black blues musician, you can use the money you made from their labels to pay your guys more! Robin Hood, baby!

Whatever. I was way too timid to tell Albini anything, let alone criticize him.

In October 2023 Albini, Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic went on Conan O’Brien’s podcast to promote the 30 year anniversary reissue of In Utero. I wrote about it. The only line you might need to understand about me is, “Conan O’Brien’s desire to befriend Krist and Dave, and to a lesser extent Steve, is palpable. I completely relate.”

I wanted to be this guy’s friend because we disagreed. I wanted to be this guy’s friend because he talked his mind all the time and was willing to admit when he got things wrong.

The Guardian published an interview with Albini in August 2023. It’s just fantastic. I highly encourage any and everyone to read it. The most important quote is why the guy was able to maintain such a large presence in my brain for 20 years. When asked about intentionally offending, he apologized.  He’s quoted saying, “It was all coming from a privileged position of someone who would never have to suffer any of the hatred that’s embodied in any of that language,” and “When you realise that the dumbest person in the argument is on your side, that means you’re on the wrong side.”

It me! And it’s fine! Admitting you what you said was wrong even though the reasons behind it were right is important! I am literally trying to instill this very, very important lesson to my children! I’m doing it on a daily basis! Just because you can say something, you don’t need to say something. You don’t need to remind everyone at every opportunity why certain people get away with horrible crimes. It’s not helpful! It’s usually not helpful. You know what, it’s fluid. Every situation requires a different tact.

There’s a legend (can a legend be a legend if only like 5 people care?) that Albini had a note or something in Electrical Audio, his studio in Chicago, that said, “The only good bar in town is the Hungry Brain.” I have no idea if this is true and though I could have asked about a dozen friends that recorded at Electrical, I didn’t because I thought the legend was better than the reality.

I worked at The Hungry Brain for over a decade. I directly benefited from Electrical Audio being three blocks away. Jarvis Cocker came in most nights after working on his 2009 record Further Complications. He was a very nice man and a good tipper. This was at a time when I was doing more and more stuff on stage, so the Pulp frontman had to suffer through (not really, he wasn’t trapped) my early attempts at hosting live shows. Unlike Albini, I was not afraid to talk to Cocker or anyone else that recorded at Electrical. It was good for me as both a performer and a bartender to entertain and serve people from all walks of life. It wasn’t much different than how Albini approached recording. Except I’d happily take more money. I’m there for the money, baby!

Albini’s sudden death is depressing and somewhat shocking. 61-years-old doesn’t feel very old. I still regularly listen to Shellac and was looking forward to the new record. But I don’t regret never even saying hello. Because I never had that one-on-one interaction I’m still able to disagree with the guy in the same way I always have.

Thanks for reading. I’m going to listen to “The End of Radio” and be the only person to ever tear up during the first track of Shellac’s great 2007 record Excellent Italian Greyhound.

Recommend If You Like is not owned or funded by a billionaire or even a millionaire. We do have a Patreon. If you can’t afford to become a patron, please sign up to our mailing list. It’s free and we’re asking here instead of a pop-up. Pop-ups are annoying.