There was a time when I didn’t believe in love. That’s not true, exactly. I’ve always known love was real, because if it’s not, there
One day, I received some bad news: I was going to be required to travel to Buffalo, New York for work.
Who am I to judge the state of modern Tiki? All I know is that I like juice and booze all dressed up with flamin’ limes and crazy straws.
I love this beef. It’s fascinating on many levels, and it’s so bafflingly stupid that it makes me realize I’m alive.
If you’re not a performer, you should be one for a night, just to understand why you shouldn’t trust anyone just because they happen to be holding a microphone.
You see the dude and you’re like, oh gotcha, Frank Crum is an offensive tackle from Wyoming.
Are you ever going to shut up and kiss me, you fool?
Everyone loves their own drugs and hates everyone else’s drugs.